Colleague, interviewing a potential staff writer: Why do
you feel that you can write?
Student: I have a lot of friends who write.
Student: There’s two really hot guys who both drive
Lexuses…I mean Lexi.
Student: If I really wanted to get creepy about it, I
could find out a lot about you.
About posing nude for money for a college art class…
Student: I’d do it. I don’t come cheap.
Me: They only pay $30 for four hours
of work.
Student: That’s not cheap. That’s three *local restaurant* burgers.
Student: Marketing doesn’t look
hard.
Me: Have you ever taken a
marketing class?
Student: I took a public
relations class. It’s the same thing, right?
Student: This place is nice. It’s
like a gated community.
Other student: Those aren’t
gates. Those are bars on the windows.
Student: What do you do in the
CIA? What does that even stand for?
Student: I did bad on this
midterm. I studied the wrong stuff.
Me: How? I told you everything
that was going to be on it.
Student: I know…I just studied
the wrong stuff.
Top three excuses for an online class:
Student: I can’t do the
assignments because I’m on a cruise, and it’s $2 a minute to get online.
Me: A vacation does not
constitute an excused absence.
Student: I didn’t do the
assignments because I didn’t realize I was supposed to check my email every
day.
Student sends me an email with
the following:
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do the assignments
because my Internet connection doesn’t work.”
Again. He/she sent me an EMAIL with that sentence.
Thank you, and good night!
7 comments:
I'm dying...these may be some of my favorites yet. Now I'm going to go weep for America.
i had something similar when i worked for a hotel chain. we required a faxed/signed document giving us permission to reprint/send out hotel stay information. dude INSISTED that he didn't have a fax. so i verified the credit card information and asked how he wanted me to send it to him.
you guessed it...VIA FAX.
also, i totally say the plural of my car is matrices (i drive a toyota matrix)
I always LOVE when you post your students' quotes!! Hilarious!
Uhhh, best ever!! You need to teach all summer because obviously that's when the winners go to school!
(says someone who frequented summer sessions)
Wait, I thought more than one Lexus were Lexi! Maybe I need to go back to school...
These students scare me... ha! {Update: I love my coffee pot, but I am not liking the regular coffee pod as much. You?}
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