I wish I could think of something craftier or smarter to write about, but, really, right now the only thing in my mind is the upcoming conference I’m planning to attend. I have to present a paper.
I say “have to” because when I submitted the paper five months ago, I’ll admit, I didn’t think it would get accepted. I mainly decided to do it because a friend lives up in Ohio (where the conference is taking place), and I thought, “Hey, if I get accepted, I get to see her!”
And then it did get accepted. And now I have to present this paper. I will have to discuss this scholarly paper in front of what I consider “real” scholars. It’s hard to imagine myself as a scholar or researcher, even though I did work hard on the paper, and it is (in my opinion) well-written. I’m nervous, but I keep telling myself that at noon this Saturday, it will all be over.
But it’s a looooonnnngggg time ‘til Saturday.
I’m also nervous about flying. What am I worried about? Missing the plane. That’s right. Not so scared of terrorists or plane crashes or anything like that. I’m scared of missing the plane (and having my stuff jacked – they threw away my super nice shampoo last time I flew. Learned my lesson there: ANYTHING liquidy goes in the big suitcase, not in the carry-on.).
I have a whole list of other “things-that-could-but-never-would-happen.” I’d tell you, but you’d think I was crazy, and I would have to agree.
In reality, when I push my fears aside and take a REAL look at things, I know everything’s going to be fine. We’re not going to miss the plane. My stuff (hopefully) will all arrive in Ohio in prime condition. Someone will be there to pick us up. We will make it to the conference on time. My name will be on the list when I get to the conference. I will present my paper just fine, and if someone asks me a question I don’t know, all I have to say is, “That’s a very good question. I’ll have to check into that.” We will not miss our flight home.
But you know what? I’m really excited about going to Ohio.
But, as I just sat up straight in my chair, I noticed a cricket in my office doorway…Have I mentioned I’m deathly fearful (it’s a long story – maybe the next blog) of crickets?