Friday, August 21, 2009

Caffeinated Randomness: Quotes, Part III

At an area bookstore...
Customer: I'm buying this dictionary for the university. Do you give discounts for university-related purchases?
Bookstore manager: What grade level is that? 2nd? 3rd?

Friend discussing a co-worker: Sometimes he can be like the gum on the bottom of your shoe. You can’t get rid of the dang thing.

Joking around
Superman: I'm diabetic.
Me: I'm asthmatic.
Superman: Mine is worse.
Me: Uh uh. I can't have a cat because of mine.
Superman: (raises an eyebrow) Oh, really? I can't have a Kit Kat because of mine.

Student: I made a B in political science.
Me: How did you do in economics?
Student: Let's reflect for a moment on that B.

Playing Battle of the Sexes
Girls: On Sesame Street, who was Oscar the Grouch's girlfriend?
Boys: What? (Discuss among themselves) Okay, let's think about this logically. Who would date a green puppet who lived in a trashcan?
Boys: Amy Winehouse?

Rachel: Oh, just wait. You’re day is coming.
Me: I know, I know. Can't I just spit out a 3-year-old?
Rachel: I wouldn't advise it.

Discussing me running a half-marathon
Superman: I've seen you run.
Me: What's that supposed to mean?
Superman: makes me nervous.

Neighbor: I hate looking in people’s homes when their blinds are up. I just don’t like seeing what they’re doing.
Me: Really? I LOVE looking in people’s windows…see if they’re eating, what they’re watching on TV…
Superman: (whispers) Don’t be psychotic.

Cool Mike: There are some things you never want to do with your kids, like shake them or leave them alone –
Rindy: Or hold them upside down and then drop them, and then they have a concussion and have to go to the hospital.
Cool Mike: Sounds like a personal experience story.
Rindy: MAYBE.
Me: How old were you?
Rindy: Twelve.

For more Caffeinated Randomness, visit Andrea today!


...Mrs. Southern Bride... said...

haha, too funny!

Lauren said...

hahahahaha -- this was so fun to read!! I love it!!!!

I was in shock over the bookstore clerk... seriously???? wow.

Lucy Marie said...

ha ha ha! Those make me laugh so much. I've seen you run - it makes me kind of scared. Love it!!!

3 Blessings said...

Too funny! Love the "I've seen you run" My husband would probably say the same thing.

Brooke said...

are you a phoebe runner?

i'm not an animal fan,so i use my allergies as excuses all the time. coming for a visit? sorry allergic to dogs, can't let it pee on my carpet...i mean get its dander everywhere :P

(i'm sure superdog is dander free and doesn't pee where he's not supposed to though)

Sarah M. said...

Funny! I needed the smile!! Not having a Kit Kat is WAYYYYY worse!

kara with a k said...

I think you and your husband need your own reality show. That kitkat comment will have me chuckling the rest of the day. And the don't be psychotic one too. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

hahaha!!! I love it! And sorry to Superman, but your inability to have a cat due to asthma trumps his inability to have a Kit Kat. I feel for you!

MomE said...

LOL...seriously I have tears...from the running comment and the looking in peoples windows...oh, side hurts!

Sara@i.Sass said...

Oh this made my DAY! *snort* I can't have Kit Kats!
Thank you for making me laugh out loud today!

Michelle said...

heehee these are SO funny! thanks for the laugh!

Rena said...

Made my day! And I think it's MUCH worse being without a Kit Kat than a cat. I AM hypoglycemic, you know?

I wouldn't advise spitting out the 3-year-old either. ;)

alihsee said...

Haha, I laughed at every single one! What funny conversations you have! :) Blessings!

Oh, and Spring? I live in Australia! Practically opposites to everything where you guys are! Time.. weather.. you name it :)

septembermom said...

Very funny!

David said...

Funny stuff! The Kit Kat comeback was the best!

misti said...

OH MY GOSH I love Kyle so much for the Kit Kat comment!! That so is going in my office on something...a plaque maybe. HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

I am laughing so much right now. Hilarious!

Things like this are among my favorite things....I love the things we say sometimes :)

Happy Weekend!

Anonymous said...

Great randomness for catching up on Sat. So, where have you beeeeeen lately?

Anonymous said...

SO FUNNY! Thanks for the laughs.

Jill said...

These are so funny! I especially like the last one because that could so easily be my boys' conversation. Hmmm. Did I really want to confess that?

BTW, I wouldn't advise spitting out a three-year-old either! LOL

StephieAnne said...

Those are great - I love the asthma vs. diabetic discussion, no sugar definitely earns the "worse situation" for me.....

Growin' with it! said...

lois're a hoot! ☺

Anonymous said...

*shakes head*

One of these days I'll stop saying things that make your lists. :)

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

Such good laughs... :)