Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Change

Why is it that I’m scared of good change? How does that even make sense?

Maybe it’s not fearing the change as much as it is sadness at letting go of a place that never really was mine to begin with.

Super Duper University has a new name, a new face, a new place. I’m (most likely, unless this is all some big misunderstanding) transferring to The Big School.

Dang Super Duper with its out-of-state tuition fees, which forced me to look for other options.

On one side, I really am excited to go to The Big School. It’s 30 minutes further away (but, seriously, when we’re already driving three and a half hours, what’s an extra 30 minutes?), but it was the college I planned to attend for grad school (law school, actually, until I realized I like long Christmas breaks and hate philosophy) and it’s in the city where many of my family members and Superman’s family members live.

So why am I sad?

It’s a selfish sad, I know. I’ve gotten almost comfortable with Super Duper University, and, as I got an A in my summer class (have I mentioned that? I GOT AN A!!!), I feel like I can handle this. But The Big School is…well, the big school.

It’s bigger. And better. And scarier.

(Eek!! Hmm…maybe I can go as a Big School student for Halloween…That’d scare me, ha!)

So let’s again go over the pros of moving to The Big School:

1. Lower tuition costs (like in the $3,000 less range. Yeah.)
2. Lots of family members live there.
3. Was my top choice anyway because of scholarly work and because, well, it was my freshman dream.
4. Can pull out that old Big University shirt that I quit wearing because they play against my alma mater. I mean, if BU also is my alma mater, is it really bad?

Cons:

1. The Big School plays against the university I teach at – my alma mater. But don’t worry. Alma Mater (I really need a better name for this place…hmmm…how about Home University? Unoriginal, I know…) is Numero Uno in my heart and always will be (unless they fire me or something, then I might get angry…).
2. I have to make myself totally uncomfortable all over again. It’s scary!
3. Fill out forms (No, I’m not lazy, not at all…)
4. I think that it will require more hours. UGH!!!!! (but maybe like 2 or 3 classes more)

So here we go, once again, plunging feet first, and hoping that I survive. Pray for me!!!

11 comments:

Brooke said...

WOOT! for the A.

i'll be praying that the change is as gentle as possible

Beth@playinwiththepaulsens! said...

re comment on my blog: you mean 10,000 mark, right?

I have a SERIOUS love hate thing going with change too!!! love the adventure, hate the uncomfortable feeling and fears..... God will show you what is the best choice! He will! and it will rock!

sara said...

hey, congrats on the A!!!

praying the change will be smooth!

Lucy Marie said...

Way to go on the A! Praying that this change brings many blessings to you.

septembermom said...

You'll survive! Big congrats on the A! Way to go! You can't look past that lower tuition pro. I'm sure you'll work it all out with smiles. Hope you get some sleep in there too!

Mildred said...

Thanks so much for visiting my blog from Susan's. It's so nice to visit you. First of all, congratulations!!! Secondly, I pray that you will have peace and joy about the upcoming changes. I'm going to read back thru your blog and make myself at home!!!! Enjoy your evening.

SusanD said...

Y-A-Y for the A! I'm w/you on change. Letting go of the part near and dear to your heart. But excited for you as you pursue new adventures. Blessings, SusanD

BTW...I got an A in my summer class too. It's a great feeling. :)

Rachelle said...

I will be praying, but I have a feeling your gonna do GREAT!

Mari said...

I'm proud of you! Yay for the A and for taking a brave step.

Kristen Sara said...

Way to go on the A!! Well done! Isn't that a great feeling?! And I think all change is inherently scary- even the good kind. It's just the fear of the unknown, letting go of routine and comfort... but I know you'll do awesome!

Jill said...

It's okay to hate change. It's even okay to dread it. It's not okay to let your fear of change stop you. It's uncomfortable or painful--like having a tooth pulled--but in the end you're glad it's done.