Why is it that I’m scared of good change? How does that even make sense?
Maybe it’s not fearing the change as much as it is sadness at letting go of a place that never really was mine to begin with.
Super Duper University has a new name, a new face, a new place. I’m (most likely, unless this is all some big misunderstanding) transferring to The Big School.
Dang Super Duper with its out-of-state tuition fees, which forced me to look for other options.
On one side, I really am excited to go to The Big School. It’s 30 minutes further away (but, seriously, when we’re already driving three and a half hours, what’s an extra 30 minutes?), but it was the college I planned to attend for grad school (law school, actually, until I realized I like long Christmas breaks and hate philosophy) and it’s in the city where many of my family members and Superman’s family members live.
So why am I sad?
It’s a selfish sad, I know. I’ve gotten almost comfortable with Super Duper University, and, as I got an A in my summer class (have I mentioned that? I GOT AN A!!!), I feel like I can handle this. But The Big School is…well, the big school.
It’s bigger. And better. And scarier.
(Eek!! Hmm…maybe I can go as a Big School student for Halloween…That’d scare me, ha!)
So let’s again go over the pros of moving to The Big School:
1. Lower tuition costs (like in the $3,000 less range. Yeah.)
2. Lots of family members live there.
3. Was my top choice anyway because of scholarly work and because, well, it was my freshman dream.
4. Can pull out that old Big University shirt that I quit wearing because they play against my alma mater. I mean, if BU also is my alma mater, is it really bad?
1. The Big School plays against the university I teach at – my alma mater. But don’t worry. Alma Mater (I really need a better name for this place…hmmm…how about Home University? Unoriginal, I know…) is Numero Uno in my heart and always will be (unless they fire me or something, then I might get angry…).
2. I have to make myself totally uncomfortable all over again. It’s scary!
3. Fill out forms (No, I’m not lazy, not at all…)
4. I think that it will require more hours. UGH!!!!! (but maybe like 2 or 3 classes more)
So here we go, once again, plunging feet first, and hoping that I survive. Pray for me!!!