Thursday, January 27, 2011

“Brilliant” things my students have said

Me: “….So tonight me and my derrière are staying on the couch tonight.”
Student: “You and who?”

Question: “Who was the Democratic Speaker of the House?”
Answer: “Condoleezza Rice.”

(Student who has been harassed by other students and the media for not knowing anything about sports…even though he/she is the sports editor…)
Student: "You know, when I move up north and start working for ESPN, they’ll see how smart I am."
Me: "Can’t you show them how smart you are now?"

Me: “…Yeah, he and I aren’t good pals, really.”
Student 1: “Why? Is it because you’re a home-wrecker?”
Silence.
Student 2: “Seriously? That’s your first thought?”
(I think I need to clarify here that I have never been, nor will I be, considered a home-wrecker by anyone…)

Student: “Can you do me a favor? Can you drive by the newspaper and pick me up some copies of the paper?”
Me: “No.”

Student: “*Joe* was so rude to me in a Facebook message to me this morning. I was nice back because I had my Jesus music to keep me going.”

Student: “You know your college is great at sports when you hear an athlete yell across the Quad, ‘I swear I just failed that drug test, bro.’"

Ah, college...

8 comments:

Beth said...

okay these were so fun! I need to write down things patrons say to me at work.

Brooke said...

seriously? cause Jesus music doesn't do that for me ;)

Kim said...

great giggle for the day! thanks for sharing!!!

Kelly Combs said...

*snicker* Great.

Mari said...

These were good!

sara said...

I love it when you post these!!!! so funny!

E-Beth said...

I personally have always loved the story with "bitch slapped" in it as my fave Ju/student story. But those were pretty good especially the ESPN one :)

Lauren said...

I love reading these!! They are hilarious. :) Thanks for sharing.