Me: “….So tonight me and my derrière are staying on the couch tonight.”
Student: “You and who?”
Question: “Who was the Democratic Speaker of the House?”
Answer: “Condoleezza Rice.”
(Student who has been harassed by other students and the media for not knowing anything about sports…even though he/she is the sports editor…)
Student: "You know, when I move up north and start working for ESPN, they’ll see how smart I am."
Me: "Can’t you show them how smart you are now?"
Me: “…Yeah, he and I aren’t good pals, really.”
Student 1: “Why? Is it because you’re a home-wrecker?”
Student 2: “Seriously? That’s your first thought?”
(I think I need to clarify here that I have never been, nor will I be, considered a home-wrecker by anyone…)
Student: “Can you do me a favor? Can you drive by the newspaper and pick me up some copies of the paper?”
Student: “*Joe* was so rude to me in a Facebook message to me this morning. I was nice back because I had my Jesus music to keep me going.”
Student: “You know your college is great at sports when you hear an athlete yell across the Quad, ‘I swear I just failed that drug test, bro.’"