Thursday, March 17, 2011

A St. Patty's Day Celebration -- A random assortment of quotes

The first one is in honor of this holiday:
Co-worker: "I have green on even when I'm naked."
Question: Did Punxsutawney Phil see his shadow?
Student: Yes. (As she hands in her paper, she tells me, “He always does.”)
(Not this year…That’s why you’ve got to watch the news, kids. It changes every day…)

Question: Did our college’s women’s basketball team win or lose Saturday’s game?
Student: Yes.

Student, discussing whether or not a professor was gay: “Maybe he likes the rainbow, but he stays away from the rainbow.”

“I love your hair! It looks like a caramel waterfall.”

Student: “It’s okay if I miss a Spanish lecture. I’ll just watch ‘Dora the Explorer’ before the next class and catch up.”

Same student: “I order in Spanish at the Mexican restaurants. Numero uno, por favor. Uno margarita. Adios, amigos.”

Me: “I gotta say, this paper was really impressive.”
Student: “Really?”
Me: “Yeah. Impressively bad.”

Student: “Well, engineering is similar to information technology, right? They both work at a computer.”
Me: “So do you, but that doesn’t make you an engineer.”

“So if I walk into the office and scream, ‘Go to Hades,’ you think that would be burning a bridge?”

“Are you having dinner with me?”
“Great!  I haven't decided what we're having yet, but you'll like it. Or at least pretend you do.”

Student 1: “What is Joe Biden the Speaker of?”
Student 2: “House of Representatives?”
Student 1: “No, it’s the other one.”
Student 2: “What other one?”
(proceeds to give the following answers as to what “the other one” is.)

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all!!


misti said...

LOL! I can't even pick a fave. But...who is green when they're naked! Yikes

Tara said...

I love your quote posts. How are you surrounded by so many crazy people? Oh, that's right, you're a college professor.

Green when naked? EW. All I can think of is fungus. :)

Penny said...

Lol, no actually it's due to a shamrock tattoo... ;)

Brooke said...

i was quite i'm disappointed :P

i thought i'd catch jay and pinch him when he was just in his boxers, but unfortunately the writing across the rear was in green lettering.

Mari said...

These are hilarious! Glad you cleared up that green when naked thing too! :)

septembermom said...

Too funny! Loved it! Happy St. Patrick's Day! Enjoy :)

Lindsey Walpole said...

this makes me laugh.....esp the spanish stuff!

ginger said...

Just wrong . . . ha!

The Hat Chick said...

You should make a funny coffee table book. "The stupid things students say" (Say that 10 times fast!)

Terri said...

Hahahaha - too funny! Thanks for the smile!