Monday, June 1, 2009

Second chances

This is what God the Lord says — he who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it: "I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.
Isaiah 42:5-7

It's amazing how much I change and still stay the same.

Last year I went through a "re-creating" of myself, I guess you'd say. When insanity happens, that's what you've got to do. You evolve, or you stagnate.

I always think that I'm glad I am no longer the person I was a year ago, or two years ago, or five years ago. It's growth. I want to be a better person, therefore I continually change to mirror Christ's love. It's an uphill battle, but I have my running shoes.

I like to believe that I'm a better person than I was before. Don't we all? We'd like to think our experiences mold us into wiser, kinder, gentler people. That's what I like to imagine, at least.

But I don't know if I've really changed all that much or if I've just said that I've changed.

I may have changed one bad habit, but have I adopted another in its place?

Do I really show Christ's love, or is it just to people I've deemed worthy?

I'm looking for a second chance for myself, a chance to crush my pride and open my eyes to the needs of this world -- traits I thought I had. It's a second chance to the doors I closed.

Sigh. I'm not mopey today or depressed, I promise. Hubby and I are making homemade pizzas tonight and watching Battlestar Galactica (yes, I think I already mentioned I'm a major nerd). This just stems from from the sermon last night and a short talk with an old friend.

(For those of you who know me personally, this has NOTHING to do with the crazy people in my life. That is a dangerous situation in all facets.)

So here's my second chance, starting June 1. I'm down with it. ;)

P.S. I go to my first doctoral class Thursday. Eek!! I'm so excited!


Anonymous said...

I need a 2nd chance to. But you kind of know that already from IM. :)

Beth@playinwiththepaulsens! said...

go girl!

misti said...

We need to catch up!!!!! :)

Mari said...

Great post! We all need a second chance! And what is going on with dangerous crazy people in your life?

Jourdan said...

Well I guess you'll never really know if you have changed all your bad habits...but God sees your true heart. He's looking for one who is willing to change. As long as you're at that point, then you're on the right track!! Great post, awesome insight.

Growin' with it! said...

i, for one, am SO VERY grateful that God is so patient and waits for me to turn around and begin again...and again...and again.

good for you!

septembermom said...

Love the honesty in this post! Everyone should give themselves a second chance. Are you watching old Battlestar Galactica's or new versions? Good luck!

David said...

I would say that the fact that you're even thinking about this stuff is a sign of spiritual growth. Just remember that it's not you making the change. God is the artist; we need only surrender the brush.

Rena said...

I sometimes need a third, fourth....I forget where I left off last.

Thank God His mercies are new every single day!

And P.S. I'm seeing Jesus in you. :)

Brooke said...

loving people is hard. glad i don't have to do it with my own strength

Colleen said...

I love when you write about faith!